Supporting children with learning disabilities through grief and bereavement
Every child experiences grief in their own way — and for children and young people with learning disabilities, that experience can often be misunderstood or overlooked. Feelings of loss may be shown through changes in behaviour, communication, or play rather than words. Our role is to listen closely, slow down, and meet each child where they are.
At Children and Families Health Devon, we recognise that grief is not just one feeling but many layers — shaped by time, experience, and connection. Our role is to create safe, understanding spaces where children can express and make sense of their emotions through the ways that feel right for them at their own pace, in their own way.
Our approach is trauma-informed, meaning we focus on emotional safety, trust, and connection. We recognise that children may carry hidden emotional wounds from misunderstanding or exclusion, and we aim to nurture secure, positive attachments through every interaction. We work closely with families, schools and professionals to ensure that each child’s voice is heard and their needs are truly understood.
Through creative and sensory approaches which could include play, art, music, movement and storytelling we aim to support children to explore their feelings, build resilience and maintain continuing bonds with the people they love. These approaches don’t rely on words alone — they allow children to express themselves freely and find comfort in familiar, meaningful ways. Using creative tools encourages adults to be present, observant and responsive — noticing not just what is said, but what is felt and shown. Activities are adapted around the child’s interests and sensory preferences, making them both comforting and meaningful.
Simple, flexible tools like memory boxes, memory jars, emotion cards, Talking Mats, clay, or other sensory items can help children remember, express, and feel safe as they process their loss. Activities such as making a memory bracelet, mark making, drawing a picture, or listening to a favourite song can provide gentle ways to honour memories and restore emotional balance.
Grief support is not about rushing or “fixing” sadness — it’s about companionship, understanding, and compassion. We adapt resources and pace to match each child’s communication style and sensory needs, helping them feel secure and connected as they move between moments of sadness and everyday life.
A young person may, for example, invite another adult to join in an activity once shared with the person who has died — such as sitting in Grandma’s chair to sing a familiar song. These small moments can be powerful expressions of remembrance and loss.
As adults, we become emotional detectives — gently observing these clues and recognising that they may reflect a child’s way of showing love, connection, or longing.
Children with autism may find it harder to interpret others’ emotions or to understand the permanence of death and what this means for the future. Support works best when it uses clear, specific, and concrete language, anticipates changes to routines, and offers predictable structure.
It’s important to remember: if things don’t look different, it doesn’t mean the child isn’t affected.
Each child’s grief is unique, shaped by their understanding, sensory world, and relationship with the person who has died.
By slowing down, offering reassurance, and responding with patience and curiosity, we can help them feel safe enough to express grief in their own way.
Grief is a balance — between remembering and rebuilding. We help children keep safe emotional connections (“continuing bonds”) with loved ones through familiar, sensory and visual ways.
We also use the Dual Process Model, helping children move gently between moments of loss ( emotional and psychological aspects) and restoration moments of play, joy and familiar activities — supporting both reflection and resilience.
- Memory Boxes – a safe space to hold photos, drawings, or items that remind the child of their loved one.
- Memory Jars – an activity helps children think about happy memories while creating something beautiful with coloured sand to help them remember their special person
- Talking Mats – to support communication and emotional expression through symbols and pictures.
- Story Massage – combines positive touch and storytelling to promote relaxation and connection.
- Emotion Cards – visual supports to help children name and recognise feelings.
- Social Stories – short, personalised stories to explain grief, change, or death in clear, reassuring ways.
- Photos – using familiar images to spark conversation and memory sharing.
- Good Grief Toys® – tactile and symbolic play tools that provide comfort and structure during grief work.
- Clay and Play Therapy Materials – sensory, hands-on tools that turn abstract feelings into something tangible and manageable.
- Art, Music, and Movement Activities – to encourage creative expression without relying on words.
- Memory Stones or Beaded Bracelets – representing special, everyday, and difficult memories through texture and colour.
- Tree of Life Activities – visual and symbolic tools to explore identity, memory, and hope.
- Worry Dolls / Worry Monsters / Fizzy Feelings Jars – for releasing or containing worries safely.
Every child has a story, a voice, and a need to be understood.
Children with learning disabilities deserve not only patience, but deep connection, compassion, and care.
By creating inclusive spaces, we help children feel seen, heard, and supported .Every child has a story and a voice that deserves to be heard. By creating emotionally safe and creative spaces, we help children with learning disabilities not only process grief, but also grow in confidence, strength, hope, and connection and the knowledge that they are not alone.