Sibling relationships: a 1 minute guide about autism

How do you know if your child needs support with sibling relationships?

It can be difficult for siblings of children with Autism to come to terms with the diagnosis. You may see some of the following difficulties in them:

• They might experience challenging behaviour
• They may be unsure of what to say to their friends when talking about Autism
• They may express that they are not being treated fairly within the family
• They may feel that they are loved less
• They may be bullied because they have an autistic sibling
• They may be worried about future care of their autistic sibling when their parents are no longer the prime carers

What kinds of support can help?

There are lots of people with Autism in the UK, and lots of families who have been finding ways to support their children. Some of the things that have worked for them are listed below. Every family is different, so they won’t all work in your situation. You may have to try several before you find ones that work.

• Try to spend time as a family but also give separate time to each child
• Find things that all siblings enjoy doing together. Maybe there are some common interests, e.g. music
• Find time to talk with the siblings. It can be hard to set aside specific time but it is important that they feel listened to and understood. They may need encouragement to speak about how they feel.
• Suggest that siblings keep explanations to friends short and sweet
• Autism awareness teaching in school can help children and young people to understand the differences associated with autism
• Teach them some strategies to use when the relationship between siblings is hard, e.g. suggest they talk to a friend or other young people in similar situations
• The sibling may benefit from having some time away from the family, for either a day or a short break. This could be with extended family, friends or other people in a similar situation
• Give siblings information about the behaviours that they may be observing and experiencing. They need support to ensure they’re informed, feel respected and know how to be compassionate advocates for their brothers and sisters on the spectrum

What about my child’s other needs?

Autism is pervasive, which means that your child will have needs in more than one area. You are likely to find that you need to mix strategies like those above with other strategies. As your child grows and develops, their needs will change, meaning that the strategies that work will also change. This can be tricky, but it is the same for all children and it is how they make sure we stay alert!

Once you have tried a few things you will hopefully be getting a clearer picture about your child’s Autism and what works for them.

Learning more about autism can help you make more sense of all these complications. Spending time with other parents who are going through this can also be a big support, providing information and ideas but also emotional support if you need it.

Understanding your child and learning more about siblings

Once you have tried a few things, and learned more about your child and their autism, you might be interested in finding out more about siblings. The following resources might be worth looking into:

• https://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/joinin/pablo-talking-to-your-child-about-autism
• Everybody is Different: A Book for Young People Who Have Brothers or Sisters with Autism Paperback – 15 Feb 2002