CFHD EDI Champions – raising awareness of invisible disabilities

Over the last few years some members of our EDI Champions group have been sharing information to raise awareness of invisible disabilities. In this piece a parent of an autistic son describes the feeling of being judged in public spaces and the pros and cons of the hidden disability sunflower lanyard.

The Hidden Disabilities Sunflower

Some disabilities are obvious to others around, and naturally we accept that the person with the disability may have additional needs or express different behaviours to those without a disability. We allow adjustments for these people and withhold any judgement.

However, there are also disabilities that are not obvious to others. In these cases, others may feel the need to express their opinions or openly judge.

Children with Autism or ADHD for example, (which are hidden disabilities) will often display behaviours that society deems socially unacceptable. Others will often look on a child’s behaviour potentially as naughty, rude or disruptive. They may feel the need to try to correct the child’s behaviour or show judgement towards the child’s parents or caregivers.

In these situations, both children and their caregivers can often feel upset or uncomfortable.

Imagine you’re out in public with your Autistic child, they have become extremely overstimulated which has resulted in them going into meltdown. This is the child’s nervous system going into overdrive; they are highly stressed and in fight or flight mode. Neither the child nor the parent can stop the meltdown. The child needs space and time to re-regulate. To others onlooking they may see your child throwing themselves on the floor, shouting, screaming or hurting themselves. Without knowing the context of what is happening they may presume the child is throwing a tantrum after not getting their own way. They may express their judgement on the child’s behaviour or speak about how the parents are not parenting their child correctly.

These opinions; whilst understandable to a degree, without any context; are unhelpful and damaging to the family with the child who has a hidden disability. Especially in these moments of heightened stress.

The Hidden disabilities sunflower was created for these types of disabilities. The child/ caregiver can wear the sunflower lanyard as a sign to others that there are additional needs and that adjustments may need to be made.

By wearing the lanyard, the hope is that people show more understanding that there is more going on that they perhaps do not understand, and their judgement or opinion is not warranted.

Of course, there are limitations to the lanyard. Whilst many people do recognise what it represents, some still do not. In addition, the person with the disability, may not feel comfortable with wearing it, knowing that it is showing that they are different and have additional needs.

For context, my son who is 8 and has Autism and ADHD (high masking and low care needs) and does have public meltdowns would absolutely not entertain wearing a lanyard to show that he has additional needs.

He currently very much wants to be the same as his peers and does not like to stand out as different. Additionally, he has sensory issues around clothing/ texture/ tags, therefore wearing a lanyard around his neck would exacerbate his sensory issues and make him physically uncomfortable.

To summarise, I do believe the lanyard is a very helpful tool when living with hidden disabilities, although it may not fit all.

I think it is extremely helpful for hidden disabilities to be spoken about, which they are much more now than ever before to spread awareness. The more people understand about hidden disabilities the more accepting society will become. Judging people without any context behind what you are seeing can be damaging and as a society we need to consider this and adapt our behaviour accordingly.

If you have nothing kind to say, say nothing.