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Parent and infant relationship (PAIR) team

Nurturing the attachment relationship between babies and their primary caregivers from conception to 2 years.

Please Note: We use the term ‘parent’ broadly to describe mothers, fathers, partners, foster carers, grandparents and any who are in the role of primary caregiver to a baby.

Who are we?

We are a small specialist team of Clinical Psychologists and Child & Adolescent Psychotherapists. Our team will aim to promote a loving secure relationship between primary caregivers’ and their baby, which lays positive foundation for health and well-being for the rest of the child’s life.  

Harry

Principal Child and Adolescent Psychoanalytical Psychotherapist

Lucy

Senior Clinical Psychologist

Valerie

Senior Child and Adolescent Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist

Abbie

Senior Clinical Psychologist

PAIR provides specialist support from conception to 2 years. We work with parents, babies and the professional networks around families where:

  • There are significant concerns about the attachment relationship between the baby and their caregiver(s).
  • There are concerns that the above difficulties are impacting the baby’s social and emotional development or may do so in future without additional support

 

We work directly with a small number of families in Devon (excluding Plymouth) where the concerns about the parent-infant relationship are significant. This means that typically families who come to us may have already received support from other services and require additional specialist intervention.

We also provide specialist Parent-Infant consultations and training to other teams and professionals.

For many different reasons, we know that the development of the parent-infant relationship can be interrupted, including:

  • A difficult conception, pregnancy or birth
  • Parents own experience of being parented and early experiences of relationships
  • Trauma
  • Separation
  • Parental mental health
  • Previous losses or significant losses during pregnancy
  • NICU experience
  • Fears or worries about difficult feelings you may have towards your baby
  • Other concerns you may have about your relationship with your baby

 

Some examples of difficulties in the parent-infant relationship that we might support with include:

  • Difficulty in relating positively to the idea of baby in pregnancy
  • Postnatally parents can feel baby is upsetting them purposefully.  Or that their baby does not like them or that they do not like their baby. Or may have overwhelming anxieties about baby.
  • Parental grief related to a difference between the imagined baby and the baby who is born.
  • Baby does not seek comfort or help from their parent when they are distressed and/or they may push away when offered help or comfort.
  • Baby is passive or resistant to care or involvement from their caregiver.
  • Baby shows no interest in their caregiver and actively looks away when caregiver initiates interaction.
  • Ongoing significant distress or no distress at all upon separation from parents.

Training:

We provide training and consultation to partner agencies working with families. We welcome requests to provide training. We tailor any training to the needs of that particular team.

Parent Infant Consultation:

Professionals may seek consultation when:

  • They are considering referral to PAIR
  • They want support in thinking about a baby in their relational context.

 

Direct work with Families:

We work directly with families providing a range of interventions depending on the needs of the family and baby, including:

 

  • Psychoeducation
  • Signposting to partner agencies and resources
  • Assessment and formulation of difficulties
  • Shorter term support to make sense of the difficulties
  • Medium-longer term specialist therapeutic interventions such as Parent-Infant Psychotherapy
  • Interventions will usually be with parent/parental couple and Infant together in the room
  • Mentalisation-based approaches
  • Video feedback interventions (e.g. VIG, VIPP)
  • Structured parenting programmes (e.g. Togetherness (formerly Solihull), Circle of Security)
  • Play-based relational approaches i.e. Watch me play – Watch, Wait and wonder

We will typically meet with you and your baby together. We will start by spending time with you, understanding the difficulties you are struggling with. We will discuss how we are going to work together and what the focus of this work will be.

There will be space to think about how you feel and what is in your mind in relation to your baby.

There will also be times when we think about how your baby is feeling and what your baby might be trying to tell you through his/ her sounds and body movements. We may also work alongside other professionals who might be supporting you such as health visitors, midwives, social workers or peri-natal teams.

 

Any professional working with families can request involvement – please click here to complete our online referral form. Consent must be gained from families prior to making a referral.

Please note: We are not a crisis team. Where you have pressing concerns about parental mental health or safeguarding, please make contact with the perinatal mental health team or Children’s services in the first instance or contact NHS 111 for urgent support.

As team, we are very keen to connect with other agencies who work with babies and their families, to think together about the Parent-Infant Relationship. Below are the links to some of the agencies we are currently working with. Families and professionals may find these a useful source of support.

 

Family Hubs

Family hubs in Devon – Devon County Council

Family Hub Torbay – Home

 

Perinatal teams

Service details | Devon Partnership NHS Trust

 

Early Help

Early Help – Devon Safeguarding Children Partnership

 

Talkworks

Pregnancy and parenthood | TALKWORKS

 

Health Visiting

What we do – Children, families and education

For You | Health for Under 5s

 

Plymouth Infant Mental Health Team

CAMHS Infant Mental Health Pathway | Livewell Southwest

This list is not exhaustive- we invite you to use the suggestion link below to let us know of any other organisations you feel may be useful.

GIVE US YOUR SUGGESTIONS HERE

Action for Children Building Blocks to Parenting

Free online parenting course for parents and carers of 0-5 years old.

Parenting courses – free online courses by parenting coaches

 

Parent Talk Provides free and confidential online chat support for parents and carers in the UK.

Free parenting support on webchat and WhatsApp – Parent Talk

 

The Cry-sis Helpline Support for parents with crying and sleepless babies

Homepage Who We Are | The Cry-sis Helpline

 

Dad Matters supporting dads to feel informed, involved, and emotionally connected, we help babies thrive – right from the start.

Dad Matters | Home | Home-Start UK

 

The Lullaby Trust for support and advice around safe sleep.

Home | The Lullaby Trust

 

SNUG Support for families impacted by a difficult pregnancy, birth or neonatal stay. 

SNUG – Supporting Neonatal Users & Graduates

 

National Breast-Feeding Helpline

https://www.nationalbreastfeedinghelpline.org.uk/

 

Togetherness: Bringing the Solihull Approach to the World Online courses for parents and careers rooted in the Solihull approach. They are FREE to anyone living in Torbay, Devon, Plymouth and Cornwall. Just enter the access code TAMAR 

Pathways library – Togetherness

If you would like to contact the Parent and infant relationships (PAIR) team, please email: cfhd.PAIRadmin@nhs.net

Please note: We are not a crisis team. Where you have pressing concerns about parental mental health or safeguarding, please make contact with the perinatal mental health team or Children’s services in the first instance or contact NHS 111 for urgent support.